Somebody help poor Laura

There is a lady who is mentioned almost daily in the news media. She is obviously a single destitute because there are always references to supporting her or maintaining her. She must be in a bad way financially. Is she homeless? A battered wife? It seems unclear. What is very clear is that physically and mentally she is in need of help. References are often made to her breakdowns and she seems to collapse on a very regular basis. She obviously takes the state of the world very much to heart. Stories about illegal immigrants cause her breakdowns. She collapses when unruly youths fight in the streets . . .
Poor girl - somebody should help her.
Perhaps we should start a campaign to save her. Help her through her difficulties, treat her ailments. In short, support her and bring her back to health and strength with a sound mind.
To this end I suggest you send any donation you can - not necessarily just money. Old clothes with a bit of life left in them, discarded anti-depressant drugs may be helpful, a large cardboard box for her to live in. Anything that could help alleviate her problems. But most of all we must show her that we care. Why not send her a message of encouragement, a sign that she is not alone in the world, showing that we all love her really.
Any donations or messages should be sent care of

Rt Hon John Reid MP, Home Secretary,
The Home Office
London
UK

Please mark your envelope:

LAURA NORDER SUPPORT FUND

Thank you in advance for your extreme generosity.