To my wife Ros

I love you. I always have and I will love you till the end of time
To Andi and Steph
May you always be as happy as I am with my wife. This is the best ever thing I can wish for you.
To Chris
May you have all you desire in 2006 and beyond. I love you.

Another New Year dawns. We're older and, hopefully wiser. Our aspirations for ourselves seem less important than our hopes for the happiness of our kids as they go through life. But then, you can look on your kids as your only chance of immortality so perhaps it is still aspirations for ourselves. That is too profound for a New Year celebration so I'll just leave it there.

I'm not a Child!

I'm frigging pissed off. In work today I was asked to help the showrooms team by fishing out the people who didn't need specialist help from them. So I hovered round the area picking up people who just needed help with items which could be dealt with without bothering the showrooms team. This often meant helping a customer not only in the showrooms area but also with other areas, like tiles, plumbing and other things related to kitchens and bathrooms but not normally directly dealt with by the showrooms team. I was, therefore, totally pissed off when, in the middle of completing an order for a customer with a variety of needs (which started off with kitchens in the showrooms area) a manager asked me why I wasn't in the showrooms area helping. Because I was with the customer I refrained from using any expletives and told him I had saved his precious showrooms team the bother of dealing with this one.
The showrooms manager had recently been talking to me about "owning" the customer which is what I was doing. See them through, make sure they have what they want and what they need and make sure they leave the store satisfied with their purchase and with the level of service. So to be challenged by a Welsh prat with, I'm sad to note, an Irish surname for doing what I should be doing is one of the greatest insults I have had to endure. That manager needs to learn about customer care. I was not dodging the job I was asked to do - just doing what I knew was best. Piss off and let us get on with the job because we really do care when we look after customers. It's one of the few ways we can maintain our own self-esteem in this crap job. It is also the way to keep the company in business - serving customers.

Snow Much Snow Good

A light dusting of snow hit Bristol today. Oh boy! Everybody panic! Oh how sad can we all get? As soon as it shows any sign of snow the whole of civilisation seems to want to grind to a halt. The wrong kind of snow stops all the trains. Drivers don't know how to stop on slippery roads - so they press the brake that much harder and wonder why the hell the car still travels on. We are never ready for it because it is so infrequent in this neck of the woods. Think how they must feel in Northern Spain where they have much more snow than us at the moment - if they were British they would probably think the end of the world was nigh. But only the Brits could really shag up their own lives by panicking at the first sign of snow. My wife summed up the amount of snow beautifully when she said "It's as if someone sprinkled icing sugar over the ground." What would happen if we had real snow? Goodness knows.

Global Blindness
Watching Australian television news on the net I saw a story about the hole in the ozone layer causing not only skin cancer but also blindness. Warnings are going out across the country to encourage people to wear sunglasses ("sunnies") to protect their eyes. Eye diseases seem to be on the increase in the Antipodean state. I wonder how long it will be before such warnings become global? I don't know how much fact there is in the story but it would seem to make sense that increased UV would not only affect skin. Keep an eye out for it (sorry about the pun).

Not much happened

Today not much happened. Shop was buzzing with bargain hunters because we've got a 15% off offer across the store (if you spend £50 or more). Lots of people wanting to buy new kitchens, bathrooms and conservatories (these are our target areas because we make loads-a-money out of these). Came home feeling blugeoned to find Offspring Senior has communicated the fact that he's being dropped off home tomorrow at 8.30 am by the prospective in-laws. We've offered them breakfast before they travel on to visit relatives further south. It will be good to meet them - but that early? On my day off?
I see from the BBC news that Eastern England is "gripped in a freeze". What a surprise - it's winter and it's freezing! Oh my God, how strange. As usual even though the freezing weather and the snow was predicted the general motoring public panicked. They still went out in their cars even though they hadn't a clue how to use them in snow and icy conditions. We get real winter conditions so rarely here that no-one has ever bothered to learn how to use a car in these conditions and few know when not to use the car. The word STUPID comes to mind. Maybe they think they can handle it, maybe they just don't know, maybe they think they're immune from accidents. Still the silly buggers get behind the wheel and treat a car the same as they would on a dry summer's day. They still brake too hard and too late - and then wonder why the car is still moving so they brake even harder. Skid pan training and regular re-tests should be mandatory. Besides which, if they went on a skid pan with proper supervision, many drivers would want to go back again and again. It is a life-saving skill which is enjoyable and even fun to learn!
If you have to drive in snow or ice USE THE BRAKE SENSIBLY, YOU STUPID PEOPLE - and if you can't do that just keep off the roads so that those people whose journeys are really necessary will have less chance of some prat losing control and running into them.
I've been doing more of my late father-in-law's memoirs Number Four in the Rear Rank, which can be viewed by going to http://www.spitfireman.blogspot.com. Hopefully one day I will finish it - perhaps even finding the missing tape of further notes I feel sure is still knocking around somewhere in my possession. Do visit the site. Some people may find it quaint and old-fashioned, others may even find it boring but I still think it's worth doing for the insights it gives into life in the British forces in the 1920s.
Read it and let me know what you feel.

Back to the Mundane

Well, the Christmas dinner went almost without a hitch, the wine was good, the presents were much appreciated by all (especially Offspring Junior's digital camera) and Mum is lost in Sudoku, both printed and electronic. I began reading my Bill Bryson book - he's as amusing as people tell me, quite enjoyable.
Now it's back to the grind. Post-Christmas Sale time at work in the hope that it might drag in a few more punters. It seemed to work. Normal Boxing Day custom in a DIY store consists of hardly anybody wanting to buy things (except that new float valve for the toilet because "ours flooded the bathroom on Christmas Day") and many more bringing back unwanted presents. Today there were 97 people waiting outside for us to open at 10.0 am! Poor sad creatures. I almost felt like going out and asking if they needed the phone number of a good psychiatrist. But still the morning went by quite quickly and we were reasonably busy. Come the afternoon they dwindled away. There were local football matches to go and watch, dinner to consume and digest, beer and wine to drink - all of which were quite compelling reasons for many people not to make the afternoon visit to the local DIY Emporium. Five o'clock and freedom! But back to the drudge again tomorrow . . .

Happy Christmas

It's Christmas morning and the Mac family rituals have begun. Mum got up and made a cup of tea for us, Dad forgot that we "weren't having Christmas stockings at the foot of the bed this year" and duly plonked some pressies on Mum's pillow so she could open them while drinking her tea in bed (oops!) Offspring Junior duly had his Christmas stocking (he's 18, for goodness sake!). Now I'm blogging, Offspring is buried in Terry Pratchett's latest tome while munching chocolates and Mum is playing electronic Sudoku.
Peace, perfect peace . . .
Snow is forecast today or tomorrow in the Eastern part of England where Offspring Senior is visiting. It could be enough to disrupt transport (but then one snowflake and everyone panics in this country - we're just not used to anything extreme) so I hope he will be able to make it back to Bristol for work on Wednesday. I don't suppose he'll worry too much if he can't. Sod it, it's Christmas!

Season's Greetings . . .

It is Christmas Eve, I've just had a miserable day at work and I'm tired. Not the best way to start Christmas you might think.
Wrong! Because it will help me to appreciate the one day off that I have. No work, presents, good food and drink and - most important of all - my family.
It's probably the best way to approach Christmas Day. Tomorrow will be filled with the usual rituals of Christmas Day in the Mac household. Mum makes sausage rolls in the morning, Dad cooks the usual Christmas lunch of coq au vin (it saves all that tedious carving of poultry - and there's wine involved) "helped" by offspring. Washing-up may follow, depending on how much wine was consumed. Then gather round the tree to open presents. Dad usually falls asleep during this in the hope that he won't be prevailed upon to make tea.
There won't be an over-abundance of festive alcohol in our house, nor too much rich food. Nor will there be masses of unnecessary presents. Don't I sound like a Scrooge? I hope not because it's no like that. There will be sufficient food and alcohol for us to really enjoy ourselves. Presents are all (hopefully) appreciated and not just bought for the sake of them. The most important part of our Christmas will be being together.
One of our family will not be here because he is with his fiancee visiting her family. That is the first time that all four of us have not been together at this time but we understand his reasons and he and his intended will be with us for New Year. It's just another sign of the fledglings finally fleeing the nest.
To all of you, whoever you are and whatever you believe, I wish happiness, peace and sufficiency for your needs. It is all we can ask for. It is more than many will get.
If everyone in the world could have the satisfaction of having loving family or friends around them then the world would be a far better place.
I wish you all a happy and peaceful Christmas.

Is Nothing Sacred?

Throughout most of my adult life 8.45 on a Sunday morning was the time to switch on my radio and listen to Alistair Cooke's Letter from America. It must be well over thirty years that I almost ritualised the act of switching on the radio just after the Godspot on Radio 4 to catch up with the easy style of Mr Cooke giving us insights into life, both political and ordinary, in the USA. He had a knack of making the most mundane sound interesting and helping you to understand the human side of American life instead of the "plastic" Yanks which we all see on TV and in the cinema (I refuse to use the Americanisation "movies"). Even though I never met him I feel he was one of my friends and there are many - on both sides of the pond - who feel the same. He was an institution, a sane, calming voice in a topsy-turvy world.
The news came today that, before cremation, some of Alistair's bones were surgically removed after his death and sold to a criminal ring for seven thousand measly dollars - not much more than the cost of a small fitted bathroom in my shop. How sick can you get? Is America so rife with greed that it can't respect the feelings of his family? Does money rule everything in the "land of the free"?
An irony that wouldn't have escaped Alistair's quick wit was that his bones were cancerous. Anybody who received tissue from this source via a transplant would be receiving not life but long-term suffering and painful death. Thus the perpetrators of this awful crime have, in effect, murdered any recipients of this tissue. Even if they are caught and successfully prosecuted it would be almost impossible to prove who else died through their greed.
Why does money mean more than life? Is this America, land of the free or is it just that greed conquers all? If it is the latter then it throws into contention everything that America does in the world - Iraq, Afghanistan, Guantanamo and all the rest. Why doesn't someone over there stop this farce?
Or perhaps they're all too busy making money.
Once again - nuff said.

American Homicide

So the latest proposal is to have two kinds of murder - first degree and second degree. Just like the Yanks (why do we always have to follow the damned Yanks?). How can there be degrees of murder? The victim is just as dead and the bereaved family is just as desolate and lost however the murder is judged.
In the UK there is no death penalty. I agree with this for two reasons. Firstly the death penalty is given in the name of all the people and I, for one, could not ask anyone (especially the official executioner) to kill another just as I could not wilfully kill someone myself. Secondly there is no real justice in the "eye for an eye" argument - two people die instead of one and the victim cannot be reincarnated neither can a dead perpetrator repent.
At the moment "life" imprisonment can mean as little as 8 years with remission for "good behaviour", whereas stealing a few million pounds from a bank can attract a much larger sentence. I sometimes wonder about the value of life compared to the value of commerce in the capitalist world.
We already have a two-tier system whereby the killing has to be proved to be pre-meditated. If it is proven then it is murder, if not then it could be manslaughter - which attracts a much less severe sentence. There is a sub-section of the latter definition which a Coroner can decide: death by misadventure. All these definitions are difficult enough to come by without adding further sub-sections to the the list.
It all boils down to our values. What value do we place on the life of a human being? Does killing another put right the killing of the first? Does anyone benefit from the execution of a murderer? Should life imprisonment mean just that - life until you die?
Do I have any answers? No. Greater minds than mine have wrestled with this conundrum over many centuries.
I am more than uncomfortable with the death penalty but I am still trying to understand how there can be more than one level of murder. Perhaps if we valued life above all other things then we would truly be able to understand the misery inflicted on both the bereaved and society in general.

Promises, promises

Education, education, education. That was what Tony Blair promised was going to be his prime target before he was elected. Since then he and his minions have tampered with the system so that now a teacher may not even be needed. The National Curriculum is now so prescribed that almost every lesson in school is scripted. Perhaps they should employ actors to read the scripts instead of teachers who understand how children learn? If we let this go on too long even the teachers will be taught to only read scripts so that they no longer recognise educational needs in individual pupils. So, eight years on, what about education now, Tony?
So the Prime Minister comes out with limited backing for schools to have even more autonomy on who they take. This sounds like opening the door to the dreaded old 11-plus system whereby the academically "top" 20% of pupils would go to Grammar schools and the rest would be put on the scrap-heap of life in a Secondary Modern school. Now I know that it may benefit many people to be taught with others of similar standards but in the past it tended to lock-in the late developers to a life of academic - thus career - second-best. The comprehensive system at present in use is not perfect - what system can be? But academic division could soon lead to a new "class" system. When I went to a Grammar school (many years ago) I hated it. I was presumably in the upper range academically but the teaching methods were not right for me. Thus I ended up not achieving exam results and going into an apprenticeship in printing where I did quite well for myself. I often feel I never reached my full potential but I get along OK. I still wonder whether going into one of the "new-fangled" comprehensive schools would have given me a better start in life but it is too late to turn the clock back now. Turning the clock back is not an option for anyone. We have to live with what we are. But in the comprehensive system there is perhaps a better chance of escaping the "condemned to a second-class life" syndrome. I can only speak from my own experience but I still regret passing the 11-plus exam. Perhaps I would have done better elsewhere than a boys-only Grammar school, perhaps not.
I was glad to hear the Deputy Prime-Minister (I'm sure that's a lip-service title designed to keep the Left of the party on-side) John Prescott voice his doubts about the latest proposals, even if it shows there are still people who don't lick Tony Blair's ass all the time. Prescott is often labelled a "buffoon" but I'm sure he believes he is in politics for the good of the ordinary person-in-the-street. Keep the debate going, John and thank whatever deity you believe in that there are still people who aren't afraid to say what they think.
My own two sons both went to the local comprehensive school. The older one could have done better in his exams but still achieved what he needed to go to Birmingham Conservatoire to take a B.Mus(hons) degree studying trombone. The younger lad had to work harder. He switched schools after his GCSEs and went to a comprehensive (which in the past had been a grammar school) where the academic standard was deemed to be higher. He got the necessary exam results and is now at University in Cheltenham studying for a multi-media degree.
I truly believe that we, as parents, had something to do with their achievement. We encouraged them, from pre-school days, to read, write and want to learn. We didn't force them - we just made it part of normal life for books to be read, stories to be written and interest in the world around them to be communicated. Perhaps Mr Blair should be doing more to encourage parents to help their children to learn instead of - as many parents from all walks of life do - passing the buck completely to the teachers. It is an undisputed fact that children learn more in their
pre-school years than afterwards. They have to learn how to interact with people and the world around them - they even have to learn how to learn.
I wonder how many exasperated teachers there are who just wish they could get some back-up from parents?
The whole charade is turning into a load of bollocks.
Nuff said . . .

Family together?

So, Offspring Junior has come home for the Christmas vacs. It's good to have him around the house again. He's shown us some of the work he's done during his first term at University in his Multi-media degree course and it's very impressive. I always knew he had a penchant for video presentation and it's really coming through now! He seems to be enjoying the course at Uni and is also making new friends on campus as well as keeping up with his old mates back home. Living only forty-odd miles from home he is able to keep in touch with the latter, regularly arranging via Skype and MSN to come home for a boozy night with some of them (at our house!)
Needless to say he has brought a pile of washing to do because he doesn't have to pay laundrette costs at home but we are insisting that at least he operates the machine himself instead of leaving his mum or me to do it for him. Can't have him getting lazy at home - he can keep that for when he's at Uni.
So it was looking good for another Christmas Day when we would all be together. But - Offspring Senior has decided to spend his Christmas with the newly-affianced Steph. I don't really blame him but it will be the first time we haven't spent the festive day together as a complete family - the fledglings seem finally to be fleeing the nest . . . ah well, such is life.
You can always tell when he is in love - his entries on his blog www.andi-mcaleer.co.uk get less and less frequent (at time of posting the last entry was November 24 - it used to be almost every day) because she's probably saying "Get away from that stupid computer and give me more of your time".
Hopefully we will see the two of them as the proverbial "item" over New Year. I suppose that's better in some ways because I have more time off over New Year than Christmas. It will be a drag in work on Boxing Day - the only customers we will get will be those who stupidly think we will be having a post-Christmas sale and those who want to return unwanted presents. Merry blooming Christmas!

Oh my God! I'm going to be a father-in-law

Yes, the dreaded day has come. He even took her for a romantic meal and did the down on one knee bit (or up on one knee if he was pissed) and presented her with a rock. And the silly girl said "Yes" (won't they ever learn, these youngsters?).
Actually, she's a nice girl called Steph and I'm very pleased for them both because they seem to be very happy together.
They seem to be planning it sensibly, not rushing into an immediate ceremony. It looks like 2008 at the moment, which will finish his degree course and probably get him earning so that they can live in some kind of fiscal liquidity.
Like any normal dad (me compared to someone normal? I must be getting old) I have thoughts about "hope they're doing the right thing" etc but I'm determined to try not to interfere. They are in love - and that's a beautiful thing of which I totally approve. If they can be as happy as I am with my darling (long-suffering) wife then they will surely make a fulfilling partnership. If they want advice I hope they're both mature enough to ask for it but - as is often the case - they may have to find their own way through pitfalls and trials to their own kind of happiness.
There will be times of doubt, times when they wonder why they ever got together, times when they know it's like being in heaven, times when it feels like hell. That's all part of a loving relationship. Only they can get through the tough times because only they know how they feel about each other.
I wish them well, mainly because it's my own flesh and blood, but partly because it is good to see young people starting what will hopefully be a lifelong love.
Congratulations to you both from the bottom of my heart.

Now Just a Cotton-Pickin' Minute

I've been watching some news/current affairs (as seen through the eyes of Auntie "Beeb") on farming subsidies. Some interesting statistics were forthcoming.
Did you know that the Lone Star State's cotton fields cover an area as big as Wales? And that about thirty per cent of American cotton farmers' incomes are state subsidies? Or that America spends more on subsidising its cotton farmers than it spends on aid to the whole of Africa? They harvest the stuff with gigantic machines - whereas in Africa and the Far East the process is labour-intensive using real people picking cotton by hand.
Each side of the subsidy argument can argue its own corner to its own satisfaction but I'm not convinced when I see an obese Texan in a field - where the only thing that breaks up the monotony of cotton plants as far as the horizon is the occasional "nodding donkey" spewing out more money for him in the way of oil - saying he wouldn't be able to eat if it weren't for the handouts from the state.
I wonder if he realises what it means to live below subsistence levels? I don't, thank goodness, but it makes you think - I hope.

What kind of fool . . .

would send e-mails purporting to be from the CIA and FBI with a subject matter "You are viewing illegal sites"? These stupid prats must have really warped minds to think they would have any effect on ordinary sane internet users. I have never opened one of these e-mails, so perhaps they contain viruses, or just downright filthy innuendoes. I just send them to my delete bin. I just wish there was some way of stopping these mentally-retarded freaks from sending such rubbish in the first place. Do they think I care what an American agency does? They probably control the world (they definitely rule the USA, in spite of the facade of ventriloquist's dummy George W Bush being "President") but they don't control me - yet! There may be some poor gullible soul out there who reacts and is afraid of "Big Brother" CIA watching them. All I can say to these poor people is: Don't let the bastards grind you down! If they're watching you and you are doing nothing wrong then there's no need to worry. If you are doing something wrong do you think they would e-mail you to tell you they are watching what you are doing? Smegging not on your life! You'd be banged up in some out-of-the-way cell begging to confess all before they torture you even more.
God bless America the land of the plastic imitation free - free to have police states; free to have CIA control of your lives; free to pollute the atmosphere for the rest of the world and thus lead others like India and China to think they can poison us all too; free to wage war for whatever reason because might is right.
God (in spite of all the Bible-thumping extremists who practise their evil, selfish, money-grabbing forms of "worship" there) will damn America until it learns what true freedom is.
I didn't mean this piece to turn into a tirade on the American state and politics. I know in my heart that not all Americans are as bad as I have made out. But one sees the injustice and the inequality brought about by the American system - where money buys "justice" and without money you would not stand any chance of being elected to political office - and one gets a very jaundiced view of the whole. Perhaps after all the fools who send the stupid e-mails have hit their target and made me think . . .

Saving the Planet?

I read a snippet in a national tabloid which reported that in Norwich, England a group from Friends of the Earth went round the city putting "parking tickets" on all the 4x4 vehicles parked in the area as a sign that they were gas-guzzling, resource-wasting, unnecessary vehicles. Now this is commendable in many respects. Many owners of these machines have no pressing need to own a car capable of driving through rugged terrain (however badly maintained the roads of Norfolk may be). Perhaps they could make do with a small engined car big enough to go to work and do the shopping - but would that lower the imagined esteem they have from their neighbours? One suspects that many of these vehicles are owned as a "keeping up with the Jones's" status symbol rather than a necessity. To be seen doing the half-mile "school run" in a little city car does not have the same effect as rolling up in a chrome-laden, mile-high-off-the-road-where-little-Johnny-gets-vertigo-getting-out civilian version of a Chieftan tank.
You get my drift? Perhaps these "eco-warriors" are not so much saving the planet as making a statement about capitalist greed, the nouveau riche and pure envy. Furthermore, if they think about it, these new vehicles are bound by very strict emissions laws. Maybe they're not strict enough but more so than they were ten or fifteen years ago. Thus, these vehicles produce less than ten per cent of the particulates than would, say, a worn-out, probably badly serviced, fifteen-year-old Sierra or Cavalier. Should they be directing their energies against older, badly-maintained cars? Should they look more closely at single-occupancy vehicles of all descriptions? Should we ban mums (and dads) taking their kids to school in the car? The list of waste on our roads is endless and still growing.
These people are just nibbling at the very edges with their little demonstration. I wonder how many of them drove into Norwich to conduct this little exercise? Perhaps they should lead by example and not use cars at all!
No, I don't own a 4x4. Neither do I want to. My family runs one small car which sits in the garage untouched on many days of the week. Perhaps we are lucky. My wife and I both live reasonably close to our places of employment. Our kids are at university - but even when they were at home we used local schools to which they walked. There are times when I yearn to own a luxury car but I also long to win the Lottery (dream on Mac!). I am neither a fanatical eco-campaigner nor a don't-give-a-damn waster. I, like most, have a conscience but not enough to fight really hard. Perhaps that is the true battle-front for the planet - convincing the unconcerned and the don't-knows.

Victory?

The Law Lords (the greatest authority in the land on the law) today came to a momentous decision. They ruled that evidence presented in court must not be admissible if it could have been obtained under duress of torture in a foreign country. Thus evidence obtained by, say, MI6 from foreign agencies would have to be squeaky clean and claims of torture would nullify such evidence.
Amnesty International welcomed the ruling. They say - and probably rightly so - that many people have been imprisoned or extradited on evidence obtained in a foreign country only after torture was applied.
But the noble lords stopped short of saying that the prosecution must prove that their evidence was not obtained in this way. One of their number said that the onus of such proof should be on the prosecution but this was not the majority view. So MI6, and the CIA and other"friendly" agencies will still be able to gain such evidence and, provided they don't make it too obvious, it will be difficult not to take it into account.
There is a narrow path to tread here. Some guilty people will obviously go free to continue their evil ways, be it terrorism or less political crimes. But while there is a chance that innocent people may be wrongly incarcerated - perhaps for political reasons - because of dubious evidence improperly obtained, then we must make sure that evidence is honest and true. If we allow ourselves to fall into the trap of "it is for the good of democracy whatever the cost" then we become no better than any terrorist and we might just as well introduce the police state as a norm.
This ruling comes at an opportune time. There is disquiet over allegations that the CIA (bless their cotton socks and I hope they rot in hell) are transporting suspects to secret bases in Eastern European countries to extract confessions from them under torture. The theory being that if it happens outside the USA then the American Government is clean and cannot be held responsible for any torture. It is a way of having a Guantanamo Bay without all the publicity.
The ruling does look like a victory for people like Amnesty International but, unless there is a burden of proof on the presenters of such evidence, it could also be looked upon as a victory for the manipulators in the government agencies who just want to run the country in spite of the law of the land and the rights of citizens.
I don't know who's right. There is doubt whichever way you look.
At the end of the day the fanaticism of "justified" terrorists (or freedom fighters?) seems to be equally matched by the fanaticism of the "righteous" governments (or freedom upholders?). It's a quagmire - I don't want to go there. But unless we do go there anarchy or fascism are the only alternatives.
E-mail spam is a nuisance. It can also be quite amusing in a sick sort of way. People try to sell me watches, condoms, viagra, sex aids, jewellery and cut-price software on a daily basis. They can also try to get my details by telling me my E-bay or Pay-Pal account has problems and I need to re-register my credit card. Since I am not registered with these organisations that is stupid. These fools must do their homework better. Unfortunately there are some gullible people who fall for it and suffer the consequences. The latest ones include messages purporting to come from MI6, FBI or CIA. The titles of the e-mails is always "You are viewing illegal sites". I never open these so I don't know what they contain but I expect they contain links whereby you are expected to give personal details or even pay fees (thus they gain you credit card details). What kind of fools do you take us for you poor sick people? Maybe I am using illegal sites, maybe not. But what sort of kicks do you get out of giving some poor gullibles nervous breakdowns? F*** off and leave us in peace.

Foist with their own petard!

Two astute Chinese restaurateurs decided that too much publicity was enough recently. They had just been fined a total of £20,000 because live cockroaches were seen in their restaurant in Weston-super-Mare, Somerset, England. One was even seen crawling on the food about to be served. After the case the two set out to buy up all the copies of the local edition of the Bristol Evening Post on sale in their area so that no-one would read the report of the proceedings and the verdict. They scoured the whole area - up to 15 miles from Weston - and between the two of them bought up about 1,400 copies of the newspaper. The whole thing backfired on them because it was such an unusual situation to sell that many newspapers that extra copies had to be supplied. Newsagents told of locals complaining that they could not buy the newspaper. The newsagents said men came in to buy all their copies of the Post and said they wanted copies of an article about George Best. There was no article on George Best in that edition! The national newspapers got hold of the story and most of them blasted the story prominently in their pages, including pictures of the two men, their restaurant and its location. Some even printed representative pictures of cockroaches - enough to put anyone off eating there. Poor buggers - far from just local coverage of their case, they now have had their faces and story plastered over the whole nation. Serves them right - they would have done better just to resolve to make sure their establishment rebuilt its previously excellent reputation for really good food and service.
Public schoolboys at play . . .
So David Cameron (who's he?) is the new leader of the Conservative party. What a surprise. His first task was to face Blair at Prime Minister's Questions. He seemed to do quite well - scoring points from Blair by agreeing with most of his policies - what a refreshing change political leaders admitting they agree with each other. That just confirms the belief that I have long held - Tony Blair is the true leader of the Conservative Party.

How did you get on? . . .

. . . the first words my wife croaked at me (she has a chest and throat infection similar to the one I had recently) as I got home. The dreaded interview!
Well I think I got on all right. Some interesting propositions were made - not all of which filled me with joy - and I asked some cogent questions. Generally I came away with a positive feel about the meeting. There are six other candidates for the job so I'm not sure if I'll be good enough - but at least I've tried.
My poor wife is coughing and spluttering and has lost her voice. No comments are required about the latter being a good thing! She phoned her school and told the head she was unable to teach and I sent her back to bed before I went to work. She looks a little better this evening but the voice is still missing so she won't teach tomorrow either. She deserves a rest - she works very hard with very little in the way of recognition or thanks. I have to work tomorrow so she'll have peace and quiet and perhaps be able to sleep it off.

Self-Doubt

Tomorrow I go for an interview to transfer within my store to the "Showrooms" department. They sell kitchens, bathrooms and bedrooms along with all the peripherals. I've done this before but had to transfer out because at that time heavy lifting was involved and I injured my back. That was four years ago. I really enjoy the freedom my present job gives me (if I'm allowed to do it properly!). I would miss talking to people about products as varied as garden plants and electrical sockets. Or TVs and WCs! Or many of the other products in the store. BUT . . . showrooms staff get COMMISSION! Extra money! More for me to be able to support my kids with as they go through university. It's a big draw - but do I want to do it? Can I do it? We'll see ... perhaps they won't even offer me the job.

Success at last

As planned, I built the bike today. I made sure I inspected every item in the box and checked that they were all present and in working order before I even started to assemble them. I put them all together and finally added the dynamo and wiring. I then pumped up the tyres, oiled the chain and wheeled it out ready for a test ride. Apart from losing the chain once where the derailleur gears need minor adjustments, all went well! Success! I can now tell my son to get "on yer bike"!
I am normally a cynic but even I couldn't help but be moved by the pictures on the TV news of George Best's funeral. Thousands of people lined the streets of Belfast applauding the cortege as it processed to Stormont Castle for a memorial ceremony which many footballing greats - past and present - attended. I couldn't help noticing George's father looking lonely and sad - yet with a pride in his eyes that said "This was my son. Look at all these people who admired him!" That man must be very sad that his son has gone - nobody wants their offspring to die before them - but he has reason to be proud as well. The death of George Best has brought all sides of the Northern Irish community together in a common grief. Does it always take someone to die to make people talk to each other?
The media circus was intent on drawing comparisons. Numbers of people lining the route, celebrities attending the ceremony - they had to spout them all out. And of course the comparisons were made with the funeral of Princess Diana. I found that all a bit sick but I suppose it is all part of life (and death) in the public eye.
Seeing that procession and all the people applauding made me think. If there is any kind of ceremony for me when I die then I would also like those present to applaud rather than be silent. Perhaps they will feel there was nothing in my life worth their applause but to me a single hand clap would be better than a stony silence . . .

Frustration

Yesterday I went to B&Q. I bought a bike for my son (an early Christmas present so he could cycle to work). It came in a box. In bits. We spent most of the evening in the kitchen (long-suffering wife being diplomatically "out-of-the-way") assembling the thing and adding an already-owned dynamo lighting set. He got on it to test it. The gear-assembly broke!!!!
Air goes extremely blue.
Today disappointed son goes on bus to work (having borrowed £10 from me "to cover the bus fare").
Broken bike left in garage. I buy another bike at B&Q. I take it home, We dissemble broken bike sufficiently to get in back of car. I will take it in tomorrow to get my money back.
Hopefully I will be able to assemble new bike on the weekend (this weekend I am not in work). When I get it out of the box it will get the most extreme of examinations before any assembly work starts.
If only everything you bought worked perfectly as expected every time.
If only I'd checked everything before putting it together.
If only . . .
Life's a bummer!