Get Fit and be Damned!

For many years my wife attended Yoga classes. She went because she felt it exercised her body and helped keep her in trim. And I have to admit that she has a beautifully slim figure. She stopped going because she preferred pilates, another form of gentle exercise which helps to keep her trim.
I will also state that my wife has no religious views. She was brought up C of E because that was where her parents went. We were married in her local parish church - mainly because that was what her parents wanted, not because we had strict views on making promises before God. She teaches in a C of E school - not because of her religious views but because it is local and it suits her. In short, my wife is a religious "don't know".
What is all this leading to? All will now be revealed.
The Reverend Derek Smith, a vicar at St Michael's Church, Melksham, Wiltshire, England, has told a local yoga group they are not welcome in the church hall.
Why? Because of the connections with the Hindu faith.
The vicar said that spiritual leaders in the East insisted that yoga was inseparable from Hindu devotional practice and therefore yoga was "un-Christian". Perhaps they do hold that belief. But practitioners in this country probably don't think that. I have no hard evidence but I would be prepared to wager that even most teachers of yoga in this country think first and foremost of the good that yoga can do for the body's fitness. Perhaps there doesn't have to be that religious link?
Ask most people who go to yoga classes in this country and they will tell you they go there to keep fit. To keep in trim. To keep healthy. Do most of them go to practise devotional exercises? The answer would be a resounding "no".
The Bible states that the body is a temple to God. As such we should look after it and keep it healthy. Yoga could help.
I wonder how fit Reverend gentleman is? He is reported to be 50 years old. Does he have a paunch that would benefit from some exercise? I don't know. I know one thing. His brain definitely needs exercise. If he thought before he talked he would realise that Jesus didn't discriminate about who he talked to. He taught us to love our neighbour. He taught us to turn the other cheek.
Hang on - Jesus is considered a prophet by the Muslim faith.
Should we ban Jesus from our churches because he is "un-Christian"?
Oh shit! This is getting out of hand . . .
Nuff said.

Horse shit!

Today I am in campaigning mood. I'll tell you all about it - but first I must give you some background info.
For several years now it has been an offence to let your dog roam free on the streets. Dogs must be kept under control (usually meaning on a lead). It is also an offence to let your dog "do its business" in a public place without clearing up after it. All around the streets you see law-abiding dog owners stooping down after their dogs with their little plastic bags picking up the canine excrement they leave behind. Most do it from a sense of civic duty - but some only do it because they face a fine of up to £1,000 if they are caught.
All very commendable. It leads to cleaner, more healthy streets for our citizens.
It's a shame that it would not be workable - at least in this country - to enforce this type of law against cat owners. It really upsets me to find little piles of cat turds in my garden. Perhaps people should be made to walk their cats on a lead just like dogs. Then perhaps some of the wildlife that visits my garden - birds, hedgehogs, other rodents - would not be needlessly killed. I know it's instinctive for cats to hunt and kill small animals but that harks back to the times when they killed to eat. Most cats are well fed and they just kill from instinct, not from a need to eat or survive.
One day I'm going to get a shotgun . . .
But I digress.
I'll take you back to the title of this entry. Horse shit!
I live in a suburb quite close to countryside. Very often one sees horses being ridden round our streets.
In case you hadn't noticed, horses are much bigger than dogs or cats.
Thus, they produce proportionately more excrement.
It seems quite acceptable that horses can dump a load of hot, steaming shit whenever and wherever they feel the need.
A cat produces a few grammes of detritus. A dog a little more.
A horse?

PILES OF THE STUFF!

Do we ever see a rider stopping and shovelling it off the road into a sack? No, they leave it there for others to avoid as best they can. Cars spread it over the road. Cyclists and motorcyclists have to try to avoid it as best they can or else they stand a chance of skidding on the stuff and suffering serious injuries and damage to their machines.
In times gone by people would rush out of their houses to shovel up the piles of muck because it makes good garden fertiliser. These days we have no need because we can buy it from the local garden centre nicely sterilised and not smelling like a farmyard.
It's about time that the people who own and ride these beautiful animals took responsibility for the damage they are doing to the environment.

SAVE OUR STREETS FROM HORSE SHIT!

Time to learn about keeping time . . .

I haven't mentioned it before but quite recently I celebrated my 43rd 18th birthday (do the maths yourself). Spouse and offspring were all strictly instructed that mention of the numbers 6 and 0 together were strictly taboo! So they honoured my wishes and produced a beautifully appropriate birthday card. They also clubbed together and bought me a flying lesson! Joy of joys - it's a great feeling to be behind the controls of an aircraft, soaring through the clouds into the brilliant sunshine above and knowing that the craft is going where it's going because YOU are controlling it - even if it is under the strict control of an instructor.

They bought me a flying lesson ten years ago when I reached my half-century (oops - I've given my real age away!) and that has lived vividly in my memory ever since, especially as I was able to take the two kids with me in the passenger seats. This time I'm hoping we can again secure a craft capable of taking passengers so that my wife can share the experience and pure excitement.

Another thing I had listed as a possible present was a watch which showed both analogue and digital time.

Well, my wife's sister and her husband came to see us today and brought me a present of a super watch.

It shows both analogue and digital time.

Great! Just what I wanted and I'm very happy to wear it and use it.

It also shows the temperature.

Useful!

It shows the date.

Also very useful!

You can use it as a stopwatch.

This can have its uses.

It has an alarm.

Good for when I fall asleep in my lunch break!

It can also tell me the time in any part of the globe.

Just in case I want to telephone someone in Outer Mongolia without waking them in the middle of the night.

It tells me the phases of the Moon.

Like I can't look up and see what shape the Moon is?

It also tells me - based on all the other data - when is the best time to go fishing.

Fishing? I have never been fishing in my life! Neither would I ever want to.

Nevertheless, it is a beautiful watch. I would like to enrol in a University degree course on how to set the whole thing up so that I can make it do what I really need it to do - namely tell the time.

As I said I would like to learn how to set up the watch by taking a degree but - I haven't got the time . . .

Cars - who'd have them?

I have just spent the last two days working on cars. Nearly two weeks ago my wife bought another Renault 5. It is almost identical to the one she already owns - except that the latter has nearly 80,000 miles on the clock and the new one has less than 28,000.

So we decided it would be a good idea to take all the best bits off the old one and transfer them to the new one.
Now I am not a mechanic. But I have a little book which tells me exactly what to do and how to do it.

Tailgate gas struts - a doddle.
Swap the back bumpers - no problem.
Wheel trims - a piece of cake.
Swap the radios - OK, I went about it the wrong way. The sensible way, as I realised halfway through the job, was just to swap the whole console. But by that time I had managed - via various sweats and swearwords - to strip out one radio! Ah well, shit happens!
Change the windscreen wiper motors. Well, the book shows you the complete sequence of operations for taking out the windscreen wiper assembly so that should be easy! The book, however, does not allow for the fact that not everything is exactly like the book. So, it says remove the bonnet seals - done. It says remove the windscreen washer reservoir - after some shoving and pushing and a lot of swearing, again done. Remove the windscreen wiper arms - no problem. Unscrew the bolt of the motor mounting bracket - it won't unscrew! The locking nut doesn't lock - it just turns with the nut you're trying to undo! Decided that I can't do that and have to reassemble all the bits I'd taken out just to make a working wiper again. Several hours of wasted labour, not to mention wasted breath swearing at said wiper assembly.
On the whole, though, a reasonable job done. We can live with the fact that the wipers don't self-park. I even washed the new car (that's probably the first and last time it gets washed!).
Several hours work over several days has made me realise that I will never make a motor mechanic.
As I said before - shit happens!

Holidays!

We have just come back from a superb break in Wales! Yes, Wales! Not the Algarve, the Spanish Costas, Peru, Australia, Thailand or any of the other popular destinations of the great unwashed British tourist-cum-lager-lout.
For the first time ever we didn't book anywhere. We just pointed the car and hoped we would be able to get accommodation when we arrived. We landed up in Lampeter in West Wales, found a B&B in the Castle Hotel and did some exploring. Hotel OK, if you allow for the fact that the loo had a Sanilav which made all sorts of industrial noises when it flushed - IF it flushed! The float valve had a habit of sticking so that the cistern did not always fill - shit happens . . .
The countryside in the area is beautiful - lots of hills and rocky coastline with beautiful rocky coves. We stayed in Lampeter for two nights, visiting local beaches and places of interest. Devil's Bridge was notable. It is a wild park with an amazing waterfall which drops down and down over many stages. It's not Niagara or the Victoria Falls but it has a beauty and serenity all its own. Visitors from many different countries were there and yet there was still a sense of calm and peace as we all marvelled at the wonders of nature.

We then moved to a marvellous little village on the coast which goes by the name of Llangranog. If you are exploring the region make a point of staying in the Pentre Arms Hotel. The accommodation is relatively cheap, comfortable and the food is superb! Breakfast is traditional English fry-up and extremely well cooked. Evening dinner has such an extensive menu with the accent - as you would expect from a coastal village - on seafood. Freshly caught swordfish, mackerel, hake, cod, plaice all featured on the menu along with more exotic dishes like Moroccan lamb, lasagne and other pastas and traditional dishes like steak and kidney pie, beef in Guinness and many more too numerous to mention. Staff were always courteous and helpful, although I felt a little regimented when it came to evening meal times when the restaurant was in great demand. Go to their website: http://www.pentrearms.co.uk/ and take a look for yourself. Llangranog is a beautiful little cove with lovely walks, beautiful scenery, wildlife and even - when the tide is right - surfing! Go there and enjoy!